When Life Feels Hard: 7 Tips from the Old Philosophers

The words of Heraclitus, Mencius, Russell and others, through everyday examples

Introduction

"Somehow, I can't breathe." You're not the only one who feels that way.

Open social media and you end up comparing yourself with someone. You're pushed to be more efficient and get more results. In Japan and abroad, in your teens or your fifties, you hear the same thing.

But in fact, people 2,500 years ago worried about the same things. And they left us some pretty useful answers.

In this article I'll leave out the difficult philosophy as much as possible and share seven tips, applied to everyday life.

1. Heraclitus: you can't step into the same river twice

The ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus (around 500 BC) said:

The river has the same name, but the water flowing through it changes every second. And the you who steps in is a little different from yesterday's you. In other words,nothing could ever stay the same in the first place.

Even if you walk the same road every day, the view looks different with the seasons and your mood. If you can't do this year what you could do last year, that isn't failure; it's simply the "you of now" being there.

Heraclitus also said that "illness makes health pleasant, and weariness makes rest sweet". Just as spring feels special after a long winter, hard times have meaning too.

Tip: Instead of "I have to get back to how I was", try thinking "I'm partway through changing into my next shape".

2. Mencius: there are good sprouts in you from the start

Mencius, a thinker from China's Warring States period (around the 4th century BC), believed that people are good by nature.

For example, if you saw a small child about to fall into a well, anyone would reach out without thinking, "Look out!", not for thanks or reputation, but on reflex. Mencius said that feeling is the "good sprout" people are born with.

On days when all you do is blame yourself, remember: that sprout is in you too.

Don't pull on the seedlings

Mencius also tells this story. A farmer, frustrated that his seedlings were growing too slowly, pulled each one up a little to make them taller. The next day, all the seedlings had withered.

It's a common story in study and work too. Cram the night before a test and you forget it all straight away. A little every day sticks much better.Growth needs your own pace and time to rest.

Tip: When results aren't coming, call it not a "bad period" but a "period when the roots are growing".

3. Bertrand Russell: turn your attention outward

The British philosopher Bertrand Russell (1872–1970) was a genius who also won the Nobel Prize in Literature. Yet he recalled that as a young man he was very unhappy and found life hard.

The answer he found was simple:stop thinking only about yourself, and take an interest in the world outside.

Worries grow bigger and bigger when you only look inward. But when you're focused on cooking, or can't wait to see the next episode of a show you love, you forget your worries completely. When you have something to lose yourself in, your heart feels lighter, at least for a while.

Russell also said that "a certain power of enduring boredom is essential to a happy life", because if you're constantly bombarded with stimulation on your phone, you lose the ability to enjoy quiet pleasures. And in In Praise of Idleness, he even wrote that the belief that work is a virtue in itself is actually making people unhappy.

Tip: When your worries start going round in circles, look up one thing that has nothing to do with you: the stars, birds, or the history of your favourite food.

4. The Stoics: focus only on what you can change

Epictetus of ancient Rome was born a slave, later gained his freedom and taught philosophy. At the heart of his teaching is this:

The weather and train delays are beyond your control. But taking an umbrella or leaving home early is your choice. Rather than getting angry about what you can't change, focusing on what you can do makes life much easier.

Life is the same. You can't change how others judge you or the way the world is going. But you can choose how you take it and how you act. Epictetus also said that "people are disturbed not by things, but by the views they take of them".

Seneca of Rome also wrote that "life is not short; we waste much of it".

Tip: Write your worries on paper and split them into "can change" and "can't change". Put your energy only into the "can change" side.

5. Laozi and Zhuangzi: like water, it's fine to be useless

China's Laozi said that "the highest good is like water". Water doesn't fight; it changes shape and flows to low places. Yet over a long time it wears away even hard rock. Being supple takes you further than brute force.

Laozi has another famous saying:

People who keep thinking "it's not enough" are never satisfied, however much they have. Get a new phone and you soon find yourself eyeing the next model. Clothes and gadgets are endless. But the time you spend looking after the things you love is often, surprisingly, when you feel most content.

Zhuangzi is even bolder. A huge tree too twisted to be used as timber was never cut down by anyone and lived for thousands of years. The more useful a tree is, the sooner it's felled. This is called "the usefulness of the useless".

A nap, or time spent gazing vacantly at the sky, looks useless. But it's precisely because of that time that you can keep going. Even useless things have real meaning.

Tip: When you catch yourself wanting "more", count three things you already have and love.

6. The Buddha and Epicurus: don't take the second arrow

The Buddha used the image of "two arrows". In life, the first arrow, injury, failure or something unpleasant, will always come. But many people then stab themselves with a second arrow: "Why only me?" "It's all over." You can't avoid the first, but you can prevent the second.

The Buddha also taught the "middle way". Tune a string too tight and it snaps; too loose and it won't sound. It gives the best sound when the tension is just right. Somewhere between trying too hard and giving up. People are the same.

The Greek Epicurus is known for hedonism, but in reality he lived very simply. When you're hungry, even bread and water is a feast. And what he valued above all was time with good friends.

Tip: When something painful happens, ask yourself: "Is this the first arrow, or the second?"

Summary: 7 tips

| # | Tip | Whose words | | --- | --- | --- | | 1 | Don't be afraid of change | Heraclitus | | 2 | Trust the good sprouts in you | Mencius | | 3 | Don't rush; grow at your own pace | Mencius | | 4 | Turn your attention outward | Russell | | 5 | Focus only on what you can change | Epictetus | | 6 | Know what is enough, and value useless time too | Laozi, Zhuangzi | | 7 | Don't stab yourself with the second arrow | The Buddha |

Ancient philosophy isn't magic that makes the suffocating feeling vanish in an instant. But just knowing that people 2,500 years ago worried about the same things should help you relax a little.

The river keeps flowing, and after winter comes spring. Don't rush; go at your own pace.

* If difficulties such as being unable to sleep or eat continue, don't carry them alone; talk to someone close to you or a professional support service.

References

• Diels/Kranz, The Fragments of the Presocratics: Heraclitus fragments B91, B111

• Mencius, Gongsun Chou I (the four sprouts, flood-like qi, pulling up seedlings), Gaozi I (goodness of human nature, the trees of Ox Mountain)

• Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness (1930)

• Bertrand Russell, In Praise of Idleness (1932)

• Epictetus, Enchiridion, chapters 1 and 5

• Seneca, On the Shortness of Life

• Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

• Laozi, Tao Te Ching, chapters 8 and 33

• Zhuangzi, "In the World of Men" (the usefulness of the useless), "Discussion on Making All Things Equal" (the butterfly dream)

• Early Buddhist text, Sallatha Sutta (the two arrows)

• Epicurus, Letter to Menoeceus